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H.m.Bracken's avatar

Certainly! Drawing on the dark comedy styles of Contrapoints (Natalie Wynn) and Maria Bamford, we can explore how their approaches to humour might inform the ethical use of humour in therapy. Both comedians use dark, self-deprecating, and often absurd humour to tackle heavy topics like mental illness, identity, and societal norms. Their work provides rich examples of how humour can illuminate difficult truths while maintaining a connection with the audience—or, in the case of therapy, the client.

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### **Contrapoints: Intellectual Absurdity and Nuanced Provocation**

Contrapoints often uses dark, satirical humour to explore complex issues like gender identity, politics, and existential dread. Her style is intellectual yet absurd, blending highbrow references with over-the-top theatrics. For example, in her video *"Shame,"* she uses dark humour to dissect the experience of internalised shame, dressing as a lobster (a nod to Jordan Peterson’s infamous lobster hierarchy) while discussing the crushing weight of societal expectations. The humour here is provocative but deeply empathetic, inviting the audience to laugh at the absurdity of their own struggles without feeling mocked.

**Therapeutic Application:**

- **Reframing Shame:** A therapist might use similarly absurd, exaggerated humour to help a client reframe their feelings of shame. For instance, if a client feels ashamed about a perceived failure, the therapist might jokingly compare it to something ludicrously disproportionate, like "failing to win an Olympic gold medal in a sport you’ve never played." This could help the client see their self-criticism in a new, less harsh light.

- **Ethical Consideration:** However, the therapist must ensure the client feels in on the joke, not the target of it. The humour should be collaborative, not dismissive.

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### **Maria Bamford: Vulnerability and Self-Deprecation**

Maria Bamford’s comedy is deeply personal, often drawing on her own experiences with mental illness, OCD, and bipolar disorder. Her humour is self-deprecating but never self-pitying, and she uses it to create a sense of solidarity with her audience. In her Netflix special *"Old Baby,"* she jokes about her psychiatric hospitalisation, saying, "I’m not saying I’m better than anyone, but I’ve been to the mental hospital *twice*." This kind of humour normalises her struggles while inviting the audience to laugh with her, not at her.

**Therapeutic Application:**

- **Normalising Struggles:** A therapist might use self-deprecating humour to normalise a client’s experiences, particularly around mental health. For example, if a client feels isolated because of their anxiety, the therapist might share a lighthearted, exaggerated story about their own anxiety, like, "I once Googled 'can you die from forgetting to water a plant?'—turns out, no, but the plant didn’t make it." This can help the client feel less alone.

- **Ethical Consideration:** The therapist must ensure that their self-deprecation doesn’t overshadow the client’s needs or make the session about them. The focus should always remain on the client.

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### **Dark Humour as a Coping Mechanism**

Both Contrapoints and Bamford use dark humour to cope with and critique the often bleak realities of life. Contrapoints’ video *"Envy"* explores the corrosive nature of envy through a darkly comedic lens, while Bamford’s stand-up often includes jokes about suicidal ideation and therapy itself. For example, Bamford quips, "I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts, and she said, 'Maria, you’re not a character in a Wes Anderson movie.'"

**Therapeutic Application:**

- **Building Resilience:** For clients who use dark humour as a coping mechanism, a therapist might cautiously mirror this style to build rapport. For instance, if a client jokes about their depression, the therapist might respond with a similarly dark but affirming comment, like, "Well, at least your sense of humour is still kicking—depression hasn’t taken *everything* from you."

- **Ethical Consideration:** The therapist must be attuned to the client’s emotional state. If the client’s humour seems to mask deeper pain, the therapist should gently explore this rather than simply joining in the laughter.

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### **Cultural Sensitivity and Timing**

Both comedians are acutely aware of their audience and tailor their humour accordingly. Contrapoints’ videos are dense with cultural references, while Bamford’s comedy often reflects her Midwestern upbringing and the quirks of her family. Their ability to read the room—or the internet—ensures their humour lands without causing unintended harm.

**Therapeutic Application:**

- **Cultural Context:** A therapist using humour must consider the client’s cultural background and personal history. For example, a joke about family dynamics might resonate with one client but alienate another. The therapist should always test the waters with subtle, light humour before diving into darker territory.

- **Timing and Tone:** Humour should be introduced when the therapeutic relationship is strong and the client is in a stable emotional state. A poorly timed joke about trauma, for instance, could retraumatise the client.

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### **When Humour Goes Wrong**

Even the best comedians occasionally misjudge their audience. Contrapoints has faced criticism for jokes that some viewers found alienating, while Bamford has acknowledged that her humour can sometimes be too intense for certain audiences. These moments highlight the risks of using humour in therapy.

**Therapeutic Application:**

- **Repairing Missteps:** If a therapist’s joke falls flat or offends the client, it’s crucial to address the misstep immediately. The therapist should apologise, explore the client’s feelings, and reflect on what went wrong. This can even strengthen the therapeutic relationship by modelling accountability.

- **Ethical Consideration:** Humour should never be used to deflect or avoid addressing serious issues. If a client shares something deeply painful, responding with a joke—no matter how well-intentioned—can feel dismissive.

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### **Conclusion**

The dark comedy of Contrapoints and Maria Bamford offers valuable insights into the ethical use of humour in therapy. Their ability to tackle heavy topics with wit, vulnerability, and cultural awareness demonstrates how humour can foster connection and resilience. However, therapists must tread carefully, ensuring their humour is client-centred, culturally sensitive, and aligned with therapeutic goals. Like a well-timed punchline, the use of humour in therapy requires precision, empathy, and a deep understanding of the audience—or in this case, the client.

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